Saturday, July 16, 2011

Dear Catelynn...

I will willingly admit to being obsessed with the TV show 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. I am a people watcher and reality TV makes it easy for me! I am drawn to these shows for many reasons, but the mom who speaks to my heart the most is Catelynn. She made the difficult decision to place her darling baby girl for adoption- despite the fact that there was not a lot of initial support from her family. I watch her episodes and just bawl my eyes out. I admire her strength... her maturity... her selflessness... and her constant and pure love for her baby.
From her experience, I have grown to LOVE and appreciate Jackie's birthmom even more. I know that Catelynn's adoption choice isn't for everyone, but can I just say I am one heck of a grateful person that our daughter's birthmom made that choice. I wish our language had the words to describe how much she means to us. I love her like a sister, a friend, and a sweet angel all rolled into one beautiful and smart young lady. And to our future birthmom out there... we love you and pray for you constantly. You will make our daughter the big sister she desperately wants to be.

Monday, June 13, 2011

A Favorite Song

A few years before we adopted Jackie, some friends of ours gave us a Cherie Call cd that has a special adoption song. This song immediately spoke to my heart. I would listen to this song over and over in the car on the way to work, and every time I heard it I bawled. I wanted to be a mother SO bad. Motherhood is the ultimate destination in life, and I yearned desperately for that opportunity.
I still listen to the song and bawl. I love how these lyrics articulate the deep and sincere feelings I have for Jackie's birthmom and for our future birthmom (who we love so much already).

She was only seventeen and she knew she couldn't keep him
But at that very moment she wished that she could try
He was sleeping in her arms with his hand around her finger
When a woman came and told her it was time to say goodbye
So she wrapped him in a blanket as her tears fell on his head
And she sent him with a letter, and this is what it said;
"I delivered you from Heaven, from God's gentle loving care
And I've entrusted you to mortals who have wished and prayed you there
They will be your earthly parents
Listen well to what they say
So they can deliver you back to Heaven
And I'll meet you there someday
One day a few weeks later someone gave her a letter
And as she read the words she had to wipe the tears away
It said, "We don't know how to thank you
There are things that words can't say
He's the sunshine and the happiness that brightens all our days
And we couldn't live without him, and we love him as our own
He has filled the empty spaces in our family and our home
You delivered him from Heaven, something only you could do
And you have trusted us to love him and to teach him what is true
You have been our earthly angel
And I hope you know we pray
That we can deliver him back to Heaven
And that we'll meet you there someday
And even though you may not get to hold him for a while
A piece of you will be with him
Every time he smiles
And when he looks at his reflection, he'll see traces of the face
Of the one who made the sacrifice to send him to this place
Last night we read a story of a man who had a son
Who was from a different father, but he loved him as his own
And as he laid Him in a manger there were angels that were singing
And he knew that as a father he would never be alone
There are times we feel like Joseph
We need help from up above
And when you gave your son, you showed that father's kind of love
When you delivered him from Heaven
From God's gentle loving care
And you entrusted him to mortals who had wished and prayed him there
And when this life's laid out before us
I hope we all can say
That we delivered this child together
When we meet again someday
We'll deliver him back to heaven
And we'll meet you there someday

Saturday, January 22, 2011

My Favorite Things

I watched a little of Oprah's favorite things a few months ago. I have to admit that I was a tiny bit jealous of some of those amazing gifts! As my mind was thinking about how fun it would be to have been a part of that lucky studio audience, I had a thought.
I was once part of an audience where a selfless young woman gave me my most favorite and treasured gift. The location was a small room. The audience consisted of seven people, including my husband and I. The gift, given by the sweetest and kindest of earthly angels, was my daughter. Without the love and sacrifice of our birthmother, I would not be the mommy I am today. I would not feel the deep JOY that I know now. I am so immensely thankful for this gift.
Top that off with my sweet husband and I KNOW that I am greatly blessed.
No plane ticket to Chicago required.